Tag Archives: relationship

It’s all about choosing the right person

Be it a friend, life partner, colleague, associate or even your boss (well if you have a choice to do so 🙂 ), you have to be careful whom you are choosing and for what purpose in your life.

One can find many besties in life but it’s important who stays with you till the end. At some point of time I am sure everyone must have come across a situation or situations wherein you have been betrayed by the person whom you trusted the most. It was this person for whom you can swear to be the most faithful person in your life. This was the person whom you had placed all your trust in him/her whom you thought is the best of the best in your life.

And all of a sudden, one day you come to know that this most trustworthy person has stopped responding to you with some reason known only to him/her. This is the person who now starts talking ill about you to others. And you get into depression mode, the worst phase in life. You now only see the past and reminisce about what all you did for that person. You start blaming yourself for the terrible mistake you did of trusting that person, to open up yourself and most importantly keeping faith on him/her. And you make a wow to yourself that you will never again get close to anyone.

In simple words one cannot buy an “insurance” for any relationship. There are no safety nets in it. Only precautionary steps which one can take.

The core point in any relationship is a 2 way handshake. If you are simply chasing the other person and that other person does not have time for you then you need to put an end to this relationship. If you think you are being “used” by that person then it’s time for you to give some space to this relationship till that person gets the message. If you really do matter or if your relationship does make a difference to the opposite person then he/she will notice the distance from your side and will try to reconnect. However, if that does not happen it’s a clear message that maybe the relationship and closeness was not what you thought or expected it to be.

Cutting-off from that person may be easier said than done, however in the long run it will be all for the best and you will soon be a free bird with many more cheerful people around you which will bring a smile back on your face. I personally feel it’s better to be alone than to have such people in life and most importantly start loving your own company.

 

PS. It was after a long discussion I had with one of my office colleague which made me pen down the above post.

 

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Blocked ….

Not a new term for all of us. After introduction of Social Media the “Blocked” term has become a popular jargon in internet world. You think blocking is a sign of maturity? I think it is the opposite.

Many reasons to block someone or get blocked :-

  • Some unknown person troubling you on social media then Block him/her.
  • You are getting irritated by someone (known or unknown) then you can Block that person.
  • You want to avoid anyone then use the facility of blocking that number.

It’s a trend to block people within the new generation. Does blocking a known person help you to stop thinking of that individual? Well, if your answer is Yes, then I fail to understand how can you remove that person from your mind or heart. Because even if you block him/her from your chats, your email, your Facebook and so on, he/she isn’t gone until you lock him/her out of your head. Unless it’s a case of some unknown stranger who is not ready to reveal his/her identity and troubling you then I buy the point of blocking that stranger.

My feeling is that we don’t value people when they are around and tend to take them for granted expecting them to be around / alive forever. We only realise the value of a person when we lose them permanently or to someone else and then we are left to live with emptiness and regret for the rest of our lives.

Blocking people is just a temporary phase in our lives. My advice is to talk it out and get things sorted before rather than taking such a step which we may regret later. As the saying goes “Time and tide wait for no man”, don’t take people or things for granted. Value the present and make the most out of it. God knows what tomorrow might bring. It takes a long time to build a relationship but not even a minute to break it. Learn the value of people before blocking them for whatever reason.

I am not the type of person who will block anyone, but for many others I am a person to be stationed in their “Blocked” list. Many a times I wonder for what reason I am getting the privilege to enjoy this temporary disconnection phase tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-164. Anyways I do enjoy it till it lasts tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-032.

Do you believe in LOVE?

i_believe_in_loveWhat is Love? Many poets and philosophers have defined it in their own ways, whereas Science has still to prove it. Love is caring, attachment, attractiveness, trust, commitment, acceptance, bonding, emotions and the list is endless. Infact I may not be the right person to define Love as I had an arranged-marriage. Although I did not fall in love before marriage but YES I am in love now (and do I really need to mention with whom 🙂 ).

You cannot make anybody love you, the way you want them to. All you can do is be your best. You can try to make them notice your efforts. You can be sweet, kind, thoughtful , charming and sexy. You can give them gifts, write them mails, text them, call them and let them know in more ways than one, how much you enjoy their company. That’s it!! Beyond that you can’t do anything much. (No, stalking isn’t an option).

Relationships can happen only if two people have the same taste of life or at least a similar taste. Bonding happens when you make each other laugh, when you understand the other person without long-winded explanations and when you know that just the sound of their voice can soothe you and it is the same for them. Relationships mean there is an ease of comfort in each other’s company and you feel something amiss if you haven’t connected for a while. Love is not about how much time you’ve spent together but about how much you love each other every day!

Just because you feel that you are in love with someone, it does not mean that they have to feel the same way too. Sometimes there are connections that fizzle out even when the spark seems to be there. Sometimes you fall in love with the most unexpected person when you least expect it. Sometimes despite your best efforts nothing happens—and they just don’t reciprocate.

Despite all that you do, if they don’t respond, you just have to let it go. As painful as it may be but one has to move on. And trust me, it happens for the best. You have got to believe that someone better is waiting and this was just the way it was meant to be.

Expectation vs Reality

expectations_1We human beings are always on the look out for love from our partners. And this leads us to get attracted to the other partner and hence we start coming closer and closer to that person. As the distance between the people decreases, love increases. A new relationship is developed by us. We have a tendency to start any new relationship very easily and at the same pace we break it too. We even go to the extent of breaking GOD made relations like Mother-Child, Father-Child, etc.

In any relation, there is love and also expectation. As time and bonding increases expectations also increases. And if expectations are not fulfilled then problems start arising. This leads to frustration and sadness. Slowly by slowly our frustration starts building up. Unhappiness & disappointment also becomes a part of us. All this makes our subconscious mind to act in a negative way. If expectations are not met then anger & hatred comes out from oneself. Even our subconscious mind starts giving negative signals to our conscious mind and this comes out in a way of bad words and wrong actions.

Why do expectations start in any relationship? We humans are more emotional and get attached very easily. Un-fulfillment of expectations damage relations and also ruins ones life.

Expectations rise from anything. Reasons can be many; maybe we are dating someone special, we are planning for a holiday with family, a night out with friends, we are waiting for the final year result, we have our birthday coming up and so on.

Expectation is a virus which spreads very easily within oneself and there is no cure for it.expectations11 The only antidote is don’t expect (which is hard to follow). Instead of expecting, start fulfilling your dreams. See the positive side of it. It will give you joy and happiness. As said before our expectations will never end, but there is a way to work around n find a solution to fulfill the same by expecting less from others and try giving more to ourselves . This will make us satisfied and it will spread happiness in others too.

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same, because one-sided expectations can mentally destroy us.

Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare