Tag Archives: Anger

Expectation vs Reality

expectations_1We human beings are always on the look out for love from our partners. And this leads us to get attracted to the other partner and hence we start coming closer and closer to that person. As the distance between the people decreases, love increases. A new relationship is developed by us. We have a tendency to start any new relationship very easily and at the same pace we break it too. We even go to the extent of breaking GOD made relations like Mother-Child, Father-Child, etc.

In any relation, there is love and also expectation. As time and bonding increases expectations also increases. And if expectations are not fulfilled then problems start arising. This leads to frustration and sadness. Slowly by slowly our frustration starts building up. Unhappiness & disappointment also becomes a part of us. All this makes our subconscious mind to act in a negative way. If expectations are not met then anger & hatred comes out from oneself. Even our subconscious mind starts giving negative signals to our conscious mind and this comes out in a way of bad words and wrong actions.

Why do expectations start in any relationship? We humans are more emotional and get attached very easily. Un-fulfillment of expectations damage relations and also ruins ones life.

Expectations rise from anything. Reasons can be many; maybe we are dating someone special, we are planning for a holiday with family, a night out with friends, we are waiting for the final year result, we have our birthday coming up and so on.

Expectation is a virus which spreads very easily within oneself and there is no cure for it.expectations11 The only antidote is don’t expect (which is hard to follow). Instead of expecting, start fulfilling your dreams. See the positive side of it. It will give you joy and happiness. As said before our expectations will never end, but there is a way to work around n find a solution to fulfill the same by expecting less from others and try giving more to ourselves . This will make us satisfied and it will spread happiness in others too.

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same, because one-sided expectations can mentally destroy us.

Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare

Pause and decide….

Pause and decideWe, human beings, all of us have anger stored within us. The depth of the anger in us varies from people to people. Some people are very short tempered while some are cool and have high temperament but at some point of time do get irritated.

So talking about anger, why do we get angry? tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-081  It is the frustration that comes out from us. Frustration can be of anything. So how does frustration builds up in us? Many factors; unsatisfied job, not doing well in business, breakup in relation, more importantly unfulfilled expectations from your loved ones and the list can go on & on. Slowly slowly all the above factors plus many more helps building frustration within us. How much can one take all these frustration within self. It has to come out someday. And it opts out in way of anger.

Do you think taking out anger helps oneself? tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-074 Well actually a big NO. The words and actions used in anger are very harsh and it really hurts you and the opposite person at later stage. This we all realise it later on and by that time it’s too late.

Sometimes even we are the victim of someone’s anger tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-123 . Many times we get hurt by words and action of someone close to us. And we often move away in anger, not realizing that being away and alone could mean paying bigger price. Often anger leads to families split, siblings fight, break-up in friendship, business partnership and even joint ventures break. We do not realise that going away often marks the beginning of new troubles and bigger challenges. Many a times keeping quiet tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-125 also helps but the calmness often hurts either of us.

I remember reading one theory of “Pause and decide”. These 3 words if taken very seriously really help us in our life. Someone says something to us and we immediately react with words and actions tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-004 which later on make us think as why did I say or react to it. If only we had remember the above 3 words of “Pause and decide” then maybe the scenario would have been different.

So next time you are angry or hurt, take a deep breath and stay calm. Next time something goes wrong and you want to react then hold it for a moment. Let the moment pass by, let your mind settle down and let your mind become more clearer. And trust me the decision that follows is usually lot better and productive then the one you would have taken earlier.

I know you must be thinking as to why such post on a Valentine’s day. So the point is to stop anger, hatred and instead start loving all in this world. Be it family, friends, office colleagues, business associates and anyone and everyone, spread the beauty of love.

 Wishing you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day !!! tiny-smileys-yesemoticons-020